Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Robin Williams

Disclaimer: this post is very opinionated. Mental Illness  is a BIG issue for me. I get very passionate when I talk about it. But they are my opinions and I'm not assuming that anyone sees things the way I do. Writing I think 25 gazillion times will get tedious and repetitive and boring. And 1 more thing, if you want to discuss/argue religious theory with me, DO NOT DO IT! I am in no mood to have to defend my opinions to anyone.

As you've no doubt heard by now, we lost one of the most brilliant, beloved actors of all time: Robin Williams. I absolutely loved him, even if I didn't like the character he portrayed. I was truly heartbroken by the news. After I read about this and scrolled through the hundreds of Facebook posts about him, I was completely unable to concentrate. I'm still waiting to read that it was just a rumor. Guess I'll be waiting a long time...

If I'm so deeply affected by the death of a man I've never had the privilege of meeting, I cannot begin to fathom the sadness his wife feels.

His tragic suicide (I don't know if that's the official COD or not) has brought mental illness into the spotlight, which has been a good thing. One of the catchphrases I've been seeing a lot is: "depression is no joke". As a psychology/counseling major, I 150% agree with this statement. It IS real and not something someone can just get over if they try hard enough. IMO, that only perpetuates and intensifies the sadness. When I'm told to 'suck it up', I feel guilty that I was giving in and wonder what I was doing so wrong - so many others don't have to deal with this extreme sadness that comes out of nowhere. Prayer is a big solution is many people's eyes. "You don't believe enough. Increase your faith and pray more. Ask God for help to take it away. God is trying to teach you something." I have heard these trite phrases so many times, I've stopped talking to certain people about what I feel. There's also the popular: "the devil is attacking you. Rise up against him and turn back to God." Okay, now I do believe in spiritual attacks, however, some of these so-called attacks seem simple and easily conquered to others when they're not (It's NOT your struggle). This seems to be a giant cop out at times. "I don't want to take responsibility for the fact that I've done something wrong, so I'll say 'the devil made me do it'." Some things we do are part of our sin nature, which, yes, involves the devil; and we need to step up, admit we were wrong, and do our best to turn away from the behavior or (in some cases) person. As I mentioned before, I DO believe in spiritual attacks. I've seen them a lot in churches. I also agree with the statement that the devil works on those closest to God. He doesn't need to spend time trying to change the unsaved or those who have backslid since they are further from God and therefore not a threat to him.

All this to say that while prayer is important, it may not be enough. Most depression is a chemical imbalance, and while God can miraculously heal people when it fits with His will/purpose (usually to bring Him glory), medication is an important facet of treatment for many people, myself included. Pairing these with some form of talk therapy (group, spiritual guidance, etc...) is an extremely effective way to combat the daily symptoms of depression. Depression is a disease, much like alcoholism. You can be recovered, maintaining sobriety, using coping skills and applying them to life, and begin to recognize signs of relapse; but it doesn't go away. Some people get to the point where they feel stable and capable enough to live life without medication. I think that is great! I'd love to say that I will get to that point sometime, but I don't see it happening. I rely heavily on my medication and people can tell when I haven't taken it. This can easily turn into a rant about addiction, but I'm not going there. Instead, I will rant on about mental illness...

Back to Robin. I've read many posts that talk about how depression does not discriminate. It can affect famous people too. If one of the funniest people on the planet can have depression and/or addiction issues, anyone can. If you're feeling sad or like you're drowning in despair (even if it's situational/temporary), PLEASE PLEASE tell someone.

It's like verbal, mental, and emotional abuse - because there are no physical scars....NO ONE BELIEVES IT IS REAL.



...I think I'll miss his smile the most...


Hear Me by Imagine Dragons (this song has gotten me through so many trying times)

Try to hear my voice
You can leave, now it's your choice

Maybe if I fall asleep, I won't breathe right
Maybe if I leave tonight, I won't come back

I said it before, I won't say it again
Love is a game to you, it's not pretend
Maybe if I fall asleep, I won't breathe right

Can nobody hear me?
I got a lot that's on my mind
I cannot breathe
Can you hear it, too?

You kiss and you kiss
And you love and you love
You got a history list and the rest is above
And if you're warm, then you can't relate to me
From the floor to the floor
And the sky to the sky
You've got to love and adore and the rest is awry
And if you're warm, then you can't relate to me

I said it before, I won't say it again
Love is a game to you, it's not pretend
Maybe if I fall asleep, I won't breathe right, right, right

Can nobody hear me?
I got a lot that's on my mind
I cannot breathe
Can you hear it, too?

Leave your shoes at the door, baby
I am all you adore, lately
Come with me and we will run away

Can nobody hear me?
I got a lot that's on my mind
I cannot breathe
Can you hear it, too?
Can nobody hear me?
I got a lot that's on my mind
I cannot breathe
Can you hear it, too?