Friday, April 12, 2013

Trust

I think my book reviewing days are behind me...I'll probably stick a random review in here and there, though :)

Okay, onto the "real" post...

Trust is something that keeps coming up for me. It's one of those words I don't like much. I'm not good at it.

I've been reading a book by Jerry Bridges - "Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts". I'm almost halfway through it and the main point so far is the sovereignty of God and knowing that God's hand is in everything; including natural disasters and illnesses, along with the good stuff.

First off, I wanted to get the definition of sovereignty: "rightful status, independence, or prerogative

Prerogative. Huh. I've been spelling it wrong all these years. It means: an exclusive right, privilege, etc., exercised by virtue of rank, office, or the like.

(thanks to dictionary.com for the definitions. There were a few others, but I found these most fitting)

When it comes to the "bad" stuff; because, let's face it, those are the times when many people find it hard to trust, God is not responsible, but He allows it to happen (usually for His glory). The hardest part for me is not understanding why. In some cases, that is. It's weird because I completely understand why I have physical problems. I would not be as understanding or have a heart to work with others with disabilities if I weren't disabled myself. Not that I always like that explanation, mind you. Especially when I'm left out of doing things because I can't walk much. Or when people get annoyed or impatient with my inability to do simple tasks that never caused a problem in the past.

But when it comes to the depression, I am at a complete loss. I don't think constant crying and sadness are helpful to anyone at all. And it's such a nuisance...especially living with people who don't understand.

I sure hope God's getting some glory out of this, because I sure as heck don't think I'm doing anything helpful.

I'm so used to dealing with these parts of my life, that I'm not sure I'd be me without them, so I've never prayed for healing. Bridges brings up an interesting question regarding this very idea: "can I trust God whether or not he straightened my "crook" (crookedness) and relieved my distress?"

and sometimes God's answer to our pleading to be set free from an infirmity is "no". In a fiction book I read recently ("The Moment Between" by Nicole Baart), one of the characters said this regarding God removing her mental illness. I think a more inclusive way to phrase Bridges' question is : "are we willing to accept and trust in God's sovereignty over situations?"

Lastly, Bridges makes an interesting point: it is more difficult to trust than obey. I agree with that selectively. Sometimes they're equally as difficult, especially if I'm unsure that God really told me to do something (which I usually am).