"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Nowhere in that verse does it say pride. I realized, Sunday (thanks to my grandmother), that I am being prideful when it comes to my disability. The way it came to my attention was actually kind of neat.
I go to a church ladies group on Sunday evenings and this past time I had a real problem. My legs and arms and even my head got very fatigued, heavy, and painful. The other ladies in my group wasted no time being supportive and a couple even went in search of a wheelchair. I was so...just tired that I could barely make it to a bench to sit. One of the ladies got a wheelchair and wheeled me out to my waiting grandmother. I was so afraid of what she was going to say and prepared myself for a stern lecture about not acting like that in public. I even stopped listening to her at one point. Although what she was saying was true (if that happens again, someone will call an ambulance...and there's nothing they can do for me in the E.R.), I didn't want to hear it.
DISCLAIMER: I apologize for turning a 15 minute car ride into a long dramatized story :)
Then she shifted the conversation to me needing to use a walker on Sunday nights, since I've been having had trouble getting around lately...especially at night and when I've been sitting for a long time. Well, that didn't sit well with me. I told her that I didn't want to be "disabled and needy". She asked me what that meant...and with my best "well, duh" voice I told her that I basically don't want be be a disabled person who has to use visible adaptive equipment. I have to use a leg brace, but I wear pants all the time, so no one really sees it. (I apologize to anyone who feels that I am being rude or disrespectful to people with disabilities.) Anywho...my grandmother told me that I have to put away my pride and do what helps me...even if it's use a walker and a cushion.
Ug...learning a lesson the hard way. I hate to do it...but I do know that God was in that conversation. And I finally feel like I have some friends here...:)