I read somewhere that depression is the result of being stuck in the past. I don't think that could be truer. For me, anyway...
Almost a year ago, I moved across the state, and am now living with my aunt. I've had mixed feelings about it the whole time. Some days, I'm happy to be here. Other days, everything reminds me of my "old life"
I miss stupid things...like dropping a gallon of milk at Wal-Mart or watching golf on a Sunday because I can't afford cable and that's all that comes in.
Ever have one of those days where the mere thought of getting out of bed is so exhausting, the only thing you can do is go back to sleep? Some days, that's all I can do.
Lately, though, things have been different. I feel good. But, as usual, I'm afraid it's not going to last.And it's that fear that drives me back into that dark place. I say I hate being there, but do I? Sometimes, I don't think I mind it...I always seem to want to go back there. It's safe; comfortable.
I started reading a book called Changing Zip Codes: Finding Community Where You're Transplanted; not realizing it's a devotional. Maybe I should start it over, as it would appear that I am still having trouble adjusting.
Well, okay then...how do I get out of the past? How can I let the important people go for this season? I do believe it's just for a season. Maybe that's not even right. That picture says it all. I don't know if what I'm "hearing" is from God or my own desires.