This is taking too long!! It's just been two weeks, but the whole purpose of the surgery was so that I wasn't stuck in bed all day. I'm usually a patient person, except with myself. I need to get moving again, but I can't.
My default thinking process is that I'm not trying hard enough. But what if that's not true? Who is the judge of that? I guess there really can't be one. The problem is that if I tell myself to take it easy once, I'm afraid that I'll never push myself and won't get back to where I used to be (which wasn't so great to begin with).
The information I was given regarding the surgery specifically said that it may take several weeks before I'm not feeling drained all the time, but (in my mind), that doesn't apply to me. I will not allow myself time to rest (even though that's all I'm able to do).
What if that's what God wants...for me to rest? I'm so quick to do things for everyone else, but not listen to Him. And He's the only one who matters, right?
I'm starting to see the point of rehab. I wanted out so bad...but now that I'm finally out, I kinda wish I was back there. Everyone was so patient. No one cared if I was having a bad day and couldn't get out of bed. Unfortunately, I don't have the funds to stay there any longer that I did.
When I first got there, I was afraid I'd be stuck there forever. I was so depressed (still am--but that's another post for a different day). I didn't want to do anything...until I started physical therapy.
I start again tomorrow...maybe that's 'the push' I need.